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It’s Getting Late But I Don’t Mind

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It’s Getting Late But I Don’t Mind Were you even alive unless you were a kid in the 2010s? Yes I really did dance to David Guetta in the cool clubs in Brussels.  I have a huge hard task facing me tomorrow and thereafter. And very quickly I am learning that the only way to handle this and to face this one is to break things down into small steps. So currently my current task requires me to: Go back to my recording with my boss where we recorded the instructions because I was kidding myself that I had understood them. I need to understand them again properly yeah thanks. Go back to the documentation for the package. I am implementing. Yeah I have been bad. I didn’t read that properly. I need to try again haha. Maybe I’ll do that first thing. Might need to be a blog post. Thanks. Then my boss has sent me three steps. I can’t remember what they are. I roughly and vaguely remember the first two. But they are all written down so I can handle them.  Crucially all three of those tasks need to
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Codex: What Are HTTP Headers?

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Codex: What Are HTTP Headers? After they came up on a call and I didn't understand what they were I was advised to go away and watch some videos about HTTP headers. Now as you all know it is impossible for me to watch a video without writing notes on it so here we are.  Btw "Codex" is a song by the PHENOMENON Joel Sunny, please expect many more posts named after his music. What is a header in an HTTP request? So according to Chat GPT (I watched one video and got lost but will try another in a sec), headers "tell the server" things like: Your identity The type of request you want The format you want your response in Except that because it's me I have got Chat GPT talking about magical kingdoms... of course, naturally. Different types of headers Request headers: Tell the server about you and your request Response headers: Tell you how the server is responding Omg so many dragons... in my analogy... yes yes yes thank you. Look:  And it gets even better wait: Yo
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A Never Ending Dream

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A Never Ending Dream I am currently a bit high off of my four chai lattes and counting. I don’t know why I think these things are ever a good idea but they always seem like they are. I am such a mess.  I don’t get how I do it sometimes. I find my office space so hard to keep tidy and I find my personal space so hard to keep tidy and I have such bad executive dysfunction sometimes. I get such bad sensory overload sometimes too but I just have a passion that just keeps me going. And I don’t care about anything else. I don’t really care about anything else. For no reason at all I would like to say something about my seizures.  They are non-epileptic. I just don’t care who knows anymore.  They are the result of severe stress and major major trauma when I was in my teens. After 15 years I found out there was a huge correlation with autism. I am not aware of the fact that I am stressed. I have to be on the floor to realise what it was that was stressing me out all along. But this is no way t
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Drinking Chai By Candlelight (using ChaiFi)

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Drinking Chai By Candlelight (using ChaiFi) I had a lot of things to learn this year. Not just this year but in my life. Firstly I had to learn how deserving of love and respect and kindness everyone is. Everyone is so deserving of love and respect and kindness. The person who I didn’t understand was worthy of love and respect and dignity and kindness was me. I’m having some really amazing experiences with my current employer. Those of being given time and listened to and treated with dignity. Those of being given time and listened to when I need it. If I get upset at work I am no longer left alone with my sadness anymore.  People always make time for me when I need it. I love it so much and it is so so so so beautiful. I feel so loved and cared for. I feel so included with my diet as well - I am a gluten free vegan and people always include me. But most of all it’s just being listened to. And being heard. It’s all so wonderful and so beautiful. I can’t believe I am made time for. And
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„I don’t have a mission, I just have a love of Truth”

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„I don’t have a mission, I just have a love of Truth” I heard my mediation teacher say these words the other day. This was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. I love these words. I don’t know if I have a mission either. I love AI. I love renewable energy. I love water technology and I love software engineering.  And why can’t that be enough? The truth is I don’t have a specific mission in mind. I have never had a specific mission in mind. I love AI. I love renewable energy. And I love software engineering and I love wind farms. On and offshore. My love is enough. My love is absolutely enough. The rest will come. The rest will follow. What are the facts? What are the facts? I love software engineering I love renewable energy I love AI I love the wind farms I love the offshore wind farms out at sea in Brighton I love the wind farms near the village in Luxembourg where I grew up I love pylons I love coding I love internet towers I love the pylons on my train journey up to London I
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An outpouring of love with no purpose

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An outpouring of love with no purpose When I lost my job in February I went to the Apple Store in Brighton about two days in and then I spontaneously decided to go to Manchester. I had nothing packed. I grabbed a couple of essentials in shops on the way. I made it to my favourite park just before dark. I met my little sister for dinner. I could never have imagined how badly I needed my family at this time.  It was a lifesaver. The past few months have been really hard. The upskilling in this current role has been surreal. I am so so happy because I think that it has worked but I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel tired or exhausted. I need a holiday. Only one more month to go. But it’s never a good sign to be desperate for your next holiday. I think I have about four and a half more weeks of work to go before my next rest. I don’t want to feel that way about work because I love it. It has just been really hard work and I’ll say it - if you look at the experience I had and what in w
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How my heart broke in February

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How my heart broke in February In February this year my heart was broken but not how you might think. I came into work one day about nine days before Valentine’s Day and found out that I had lost my job. My renewable energy software engineering job. I didn’t know what I know now. That I would make it into a renewable energy job that was even better. That I would get to work in Python and AI and with water tech as well. I didn’t know these things. This morning or rather afternoon cos I slept all day I finally had the courage to go through my old belongings from my old office.  I never touched them.  My books, my photos of pylons and my poster of offshore wind farms. I found a typescript book. That ship has sailed for me now I think. Long live typing Python. I sat there on the floor of my entrance and I cried. The effect that major major life trauma earlier on in my life in my teens has had on me is that I want to avoid looking at stuff. I can’t bear to unpack boxes and take things out a
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