Susanna Codes

Im craving the early morning  I’m craving that feeling of dawn in a new city. That feeling when everything is possible. I’m craving that feeling when anything could still happen  In the day When anything could change I’m craving that feeling walking up the hill through the streets Before the shutters have even opened. I couldn’t sleep properly for 10 years  And I missed a lot of mornings. Still I wake up naturally at 7 am now But still To be in a city  At dawn Before the shops have even opened With the pink skies Waiting for the first coffee shop to open

Retelling the story of my life  When I was 14 years old and a year into recovery from a life-threatening illness my mum tried out a meditation technique on me. It was so healing. Nothing had helped me feel that good before. I found the book in the attic years later and started using it. I went on a meditation retreat online in Colorado during Covid and learned more. Then I got angry at the practise and needed a break. Looking back I think I had just worked with so much that I needed time to process it all. It’s magical. And by some further magic I got into it after five years. Now I do it all the time. I have so much further to go. I have so many issues to deal with it feels like the universe gave them to me on purpose so that I’d have material to work with  Im sure it did  When I was in my teens I went through some of the worst things a human being can go through. I have been carrying the weight for 16 years and I am exhausted. I did everything right and went to every ki...

My brain just doesn’t switch off Friday night and my brain won’t turn off. Look I can’t change it now so there’s no point in trying is there. I have so much to do but most of all I just need to rest. But I am doing so much cool stuff at the moment. I had a 3+ hour session on TDD today (thank you it was the absolute best). I then went on lunch really late as I had done other stuff that morning too. So I had lunch and then I had a coffee chat with a colleague and then I had the rest of my lunchbreak. Then he unfortunately reminded me (correctly) that I needed to do a ton of coding before our next meeting. So I had to do that. I was so tired. So I alternated it with building a coat hanger in our office. I am very good at building furniture. I am pretty amazing what can I say So then there is so much to do on Monday as always Maybe some day I’ll have a quiet day. Every day is fast and long and exciting. I really love my job. I took the time to write up my goals for Monday today but as we a...

Competition vs. Kindness  To know me is to know that I am competitive. I am competitive in all the wrong places. I am competitive on the dancefloor - where it is absolutely not a competition. I am competitive at work - where people do treat it like a competition. But it shouldn't be. And I want to be that difference. Because I learned early on; I learned very young, this: IF YOU ARE JEALOUS OF SOMEONE THEN THE BEST THING TO DO IS TO GIVE THEM A COMPLIMENT. If you are jealous of someone then chances are other people are too. And if everyone is jealous then maybe everyone is holding back. GIVE THE PERSON THE COMPLIMENT BE THE PERSON WHO CELEBRATES OTHER PEOPLE  And then only compete with yourself Only compete with yourself a year ago  A year ago I passed my probation  (A little over now). I got a pizza which I ate on the train cos it was so late after my dance class. I had a glass of wine on an empty stomach and pain relief and that was disastrous - I don't drink at th...

From the Frontend to the backend my biggest issue remains the same problem Bro. After just under a year training in Frontend and just over a year training in backend  My issue remains the same And I’m not ashamed of this. I’m a proud of this. Because we have really gotten to the root of my issue And I am so so proud of myself I’m so so proud of myself I’m so so proud of myself really So what is my core issue then? And the answer is it’s difficult to define If I were able to easily define it myself then it wouldn’t be an issue But even 3 amazing leads that I have spoken to haven’t been able to give me a clear definition or answer  But between us We have come pretty close So bro What is it What is it  Okay but bro. I’m trying but I can’t define this.  BREAKING DOWN WHAT NEEDS TO BE BUILT INTO SMALLER MORE ACHIEVABLE AND ISOLATED TASKS  Bro I said it Work definitions - defining the work that needs to be done

Solo Singing and Software Engineering  When I was 4 I wanted a solo in church. They told me I wasn’t ready. I was so sad. I went on to play many lead roles in primary school and had lots of solos. When I was 14 I wanted a solo in the school musical. I auditioned and auditioned but couldn’t hack it. It was a very big school with a lot of talent. I got 4 small solos (as in a few lines here and there) including in jellicle cats so that was fun. But when I was 17. After my whole life had been turned upside down and nothing that had used to mean anything to me meant anything to me any more I went for an audition with no preparation I told the directors I didn’t have time to rehearse and play a character only come on and sing a song they added in.  They put in a song for me. They liked it so much that although they had been considering turning it into a duet they gave me the whole song. I got phenomenal feedback. I got stopped for months by people in school. Teachers and students st...