Solo Singing and Software Engineering 

When I was 4 I wanted a solo in church. They told me I wasn’t ready. I was so sad. I went on to play many lead roles in primary school and had lots of solos. When I was 14 I wanted a solo in the school musical. I auditioned and auditioned but couldn’t hack it. It was a very big school with a lot of talent. I got 4 small solos (as in a few lines here and there) including in jellicle cats so that was fun. But when I was 17. After my whole life had been turned upside down and nothing that had used to mean anything to me meant anything to me any more

I went for an audition with no preparation

I told the directors I didn’t have time to rehearse and play a character only come on and sing a song they added in. 

They put in a song for me. They liked it so much that although they had been considering turning it into a duet they gave me the whole song. I got phenomenal feedback. I got stopped for months by people in school. Teachers and students stopped me. My sister would get told all the time how good I was. The professional musicians they brought in gave me amazing feedback. I even sang in a duet on a second song with a girl I used to admire so much. Never did I think they would break up her song to give me half of it. I had stopped caring and talent found me. That performance is still available online somewhere. I sang to up to 500 people per show

In five or six different shows

And the results were phenomenal 

Will it be the same in software engineering? When I stop trying so hard and caring so much will it all suddenly get better

At 14 I sang myself hoarse and couldn’t get me own song

At seventeen I didn’t give a fuck and then I waltzed out onto the stage in stilletoes

Singing my own piece

Leaving my mums friends saying to her “I didn’t know Susanna could sing like that”

To which my mother replied “I didn’t know either”

When I stop caring so much will it all become easier one day