Where To Hide A Star

I haven’t read this book but I just saw this title of a forthcoming children’s book on the train and so I wanted to write a blog post based off of this as well. The last six months have been… rewarding and fulfilling. I have managed to make all of my dreams come true and to defy expectations, 

Sometimes the best place to hide is in plain sight and if you reread all of my blogs over the last six months (all 200 of them) you would know exactly what I’m struggling at work and what was going on.

And why. But I’ve managed to overcome most of my challenges. Neurodiversity. Being very new in the field relative to the expectations of the job. Being in a new workplace environment. All stuff which I can handle and I am doing just fine.

Because I am amazing and fabulous and I can do anything. I am loving the job. I am thriving. I am loving just getting on with it. I love my work. I am having massive breakthroughs. On Thursday I had what felt like the biggest breakthrough of all and I found an amazing tool I wish I’d had for the last four years of my career. I have a special notebook but as always could be any one.

And I ask “what are my next steps? What are my next steps?”. If I come off a call overwhelmed (it’s a lot of information to handle) “what are my next steps? What are my next steps?”. If I get a message from my manager adding in some new steps or he tells me on a call that there’s a change in the plan: “what are my next steps? What are my next steps?”. In my notebook. I think I have stopped having meltdowns into people’s inboxes over this - or at least just sending lots and lots of panicked messages that confuse me and contradict each other - and to be honest it was usually my managers over the years. I would like to apologise to all of my past managers.

I would like to thank my managers for the grace and kindness they have given me and especially my last two managers for creating so much time for me. So much time that I could say everything that felt like it needed to be said. I am so proud to be able to manage and control sudden feelings of being overwhelmed, sudden changes in directions, and so on.

I can do anything. I am thirty and have been working for three and a half years but I have finally figured out what I need to do when there is too much going on. Maybe I should be trying this at home. I did this at uni and stuff but to be honest with you I could have done it more and now I wish that I will continue to do it as much as I need to, especially at work…

And so it is with neurodiversity at work. It can be hell. It can be torture. It can be humiliation and degradation.

But with the right people you can find your way.