Two Lines of Thought, Makes Me Wonder What I'm Missing

"Lines of Bamboo, See What You Do To Me..."

Bamboo by Elder Island is one of my ultimate 'becoming a Software Engineer songs'. (I prefer the original, but here is a great live version.)

There's a story behind this. I met a man named Mark. He was an SWE approaching retirement - he was down in my hometown with his wife, visiting. I won't go into the context of how we met, but it was a miracle. It was a complete miracle. It was just meant to be. We chatted for at least two hours and at the end of the conversation he said to me "All the best of luck with your new career". I couldn't believe what he'd just said - I hadn't even committed to it yet! A few weeks later, I did, though.

After I walked out of that cafe where I had been sitting and talking to Mark and his wife though, I felt like - even though I didn't "feel ready" yet - Mark had predicted something that I didn't yet know. 

Looking back, I can see that maybe he could see that I had the potential to be a really good future engineer - just based on the conversation we had had. If so then that is the biggest compliment in the world, and I am extremely flattered.

After I had finished my conversation with Mark, I felt elated. I had only just discovered that 'Bamboo' song properly that day, and yet after that life-changing, memorable conversation with Mark, that song took on a whole new meaning for me and a new context.

"I want to feel that thrill of the night,

Feel the stillness stripped from the light,

Oh, dreams of dust crumble'. 

I honestly ran or skipped around my hometown in that September/October evening singing along to that chorus again and again. (Even if it doesn't sound that positive on paper, give it a listen, and SEE if you don't get inspired!).

The other one is 'Yosemite' by Lana del Rey - it always reminds me of my sense of purpose with being an SWE. I'm doing it for the whole, right? I'm doing it for the good of everybody.

I just don't know what that collective good is yet or where it will come from - but I know that it's coming! 💓

Sometimes it's hard to keep going

Sometimes it's hard to keep going. 

When there aren't enough hours in the day. 

When there's so much to do in Product. But most of all, the hardest part, is keeping the faith (Remember the Lady Gaga quote from the other day: 'Every heartbreak makes it hard to keep the faith"). I have to keep reminding myself why I am doing these things. 

I think my brain might be full,

I had planned to do some CSS revision today. But I don't think I can handle it right now.

I have been struggling with the auto element.

I have just discovered the min-height, max-height, min-width, and max-width elements. 

I have to admit that I am very confused by them. 

I don't know what they do and I don't understand it.

I also just want to type out margin shorthand for myself again:

You can do margin-top, margin-left, margin-bottom, and margin-right.

Or you can do: 4 values (top, right, bottom, left), 3 values(top, l+r, bottom), or 2 values (t+b, l+r).

Finally the auto element is stressing me out too.

When I get sad, I stop being sad, and I look at the Offshore Wind Farms instead

I once gave a presentation to the whole company and presented this as my motto.

WE HAVE MOVED INTO A NEW OFFICE TODAY AND I CAN SEE THEM AGAIN!

Here are the wind farms

I think I just need a break from it all.

How do I find a way to keep on going, to keep on progressing, to keep on getting on with it all?