Two Recent Miracles That Have Helped Me To Keep The Faith On My Software Engineering Journey

The last few months have been really hard. Wonderful, but hard. In fact they have been really, really wonderful. But they have been hard work as well. And so I wanted to reflect on two recent miracles that have helped me to really keep the faith with my software engineering and to really keep on going on my software engineering which is hard sometimes. 

Which is really hard sometimes. 

For context I have worked just about every single day since early June - including weekend self study most of most days. 

I took two days off to go to the Isle of Wight but even then I was thinking very deeply about my passion all of the time.

Margaret

On Sunday last week I went to the cinema. I went to see “Fly Me To The Moon” with Channing Tatum and Scarlett Johansen. Legendary actors. 

I had just been writing my Python talk. It was just a way of forcing myself to not work too late.

In the film them mentioned Margaret Elaine Hamilton. Although they just called her Margaret Hamilton. 

This was the plot twist that I needed. Margaret Elaine Hamilton is one of my greatest heroes. I immediately began to hear the song “Margaret” by Lana del Rey. 

When I was desperately desperately searching for my current job, both Margarets featured prominently in my mind. I had pictures of Margaret Elaine Hamilton all over my laptop and wall. And I was listening to “Margaret” constantly all the time. I’ve said before; when I wasn’t sure if I was going to hear back or get my job, I would hear the line “Maybe tomorrow you’ll know, maybe tomorrow you’ll know.”

Anyway back to the movie. 

I was feeling tired and depressed and somewhat uninspired. As someone who is pretty much always inspired this was a terrifying moment for me. I have spent the last two years in near constant inspiration. 

And the one of two moments of not having 100% constant inspiration have been quite scary. 

So I heard the song in my head. But what part of the song was it? “‘Cause baby if your love is in trouble, baby is your love is in trouble…”

This line is basically from the saying “Baby if your love is in trouble (then there’s no hope for the rest of us).”

That’s exactly how I feel about my software engineering career. If I don’t love my career then who does? If I can’t be passionate about my job who can be? Or rather - if I’m not passionate about my job who is? I’ll write more about this in my next blog post. But even just hearing Margaret Elaine Hamilton’s name referred to was the biggest sign in the world for me. 

It was a sign for me that my passion and inspiration is not over and that I have not lost my life purpose just yet - nor will I ever do so, hopefully. 

Yosemite

The second miracle featured in one of my previous blog posts. 

I was in the WH Smith’s at the airport. I was feeling a bit bored and extremely ADHD as is often the case when I travel and I needed something to read. And I can’t read much. And then I found the magazine on national parks that I had also bought this year in February. 

But back then I cut it all up. 

And so I wanted to buy it again. But then I didn’t want to buy it because it was like £10.99. But then just before I put it back it flicked open to a page with the Yosemite picture (see about two or three blog posts ago). And so then of course I knew I had to buy it. So I did. And it really helped me to wait for the flight and to survive on the flight as well. Especially because I’m a bit scared of flying.

So it really helped me but then the stewardess loved it so much. So I gave it away. I loved it so much and I didn’t want to do it. But she was so so nice and asked me what my favourite national park 🏞️ was. 

And then I told her about Yosemite. (Yosemite is my favourite software engineering song, btw, the one by Lana del Rey. It came on for me once just after committing for life to becoming a software engineer and then I played it non stop for over a year. It describes my life for software engineering perfectly. “Withstanding all the time, changes and seasons.”). And she was so nice and kind. And she asked me what my plan was.

“Work a few more years as a software engineer… earn a bit more money… and then go.” 

And she said to me at the very end “get yourself to Yosemite” - omg - I loved her and I gave her a hug. 

Just a beautiful stained glass window from my grandads local church or should I say cathedral omg back in the UK. Yesterday I went into the church three doors down from the house I lived in until I was seven for the first time in my life. It was so beautiful omg.