“Free At Last, They Took Your Life, They Could Not Take Your Pride”: Are my blogs like a safety net?

Over the past few months I have made so many stupid mistakes. But maybe they weren’t mistakes. Maybe they were just things I didn’t know before

I would like to make a list of my biggest mistakes and rank them but is that really something you’re supposed to do? Let me just throw something out there

Not asking for more tickets sooner, not setting good enough boundaries at work (too many disruptions/interruptions although I came into the workplace knowing this and I tried so so hard), NOT VALUING ENOUGH THE IMPACT THAT TICKETS WOULD HAVE ON MY LEARNING, not just sitting down and not getting on enough with things properly, not making a work to do list everyday

Being too afraid of making mistakes, not just getting into the coding straight away, not using the tools that I needed to use

IN THE NAME OF LOVE, ONE MORE IN THE NAME OF LOVE

I made some mistakes, but I learned a lot from them. I didn’t really do anything wrong; I just had a lot to learn. I had to learn what it really means to focus as a software engineer. To work on your tickets. To set boundaries and set focus for the day. I learned what performance you are measured on, what impact you are measured on. 

I learned what you are really being paid to do.

But this is where my blog all comes in. Because every mistake I have made over the last few months I have documented. Every lesson I have learned is all there. Documented. And now all of the parts have clicked: do I need to make a fresh start? Do I need to draft up a plan of all of my new policies and ideas? Or are they all all of them already documented? Are they all all of them already there? Because everything has finally clicked but I can see it all there

So what I am really trying to say is that I have learned a lot a lot of lessons but they are not built upon sand. They are built upon rock. They are solid. Consolidated. Solidified. Is this going to save me? But more than anything else running is going to save me

Run run run for your life Susanna 

Next ticket is done, GO. PR is done, GO. Next ticket, next comment. Run run run for your life Susanna. Go. 

I can do this. I can run for my life