Withstanding All The Time, Changes, and Seasons, Part II

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Withstanding All The Time, Changes, and Seasons, Part II

When I first started software engineering it came straight from God and from Love. An overnight discovery, it was just my way to express the beauty and magnitude of it all. The love and infinity that I feel, that is what we are, is what we all are. This radiant golden light that is our true nature; my journey into software engineering and my passion for it and for coding were my expressions of the eternal love that I feel and this great great love that I am, that we all are.

And this journey can come with great ups and downs and it is important to remember that they are all part of the journey and they are all perfect. I fell in love (with software engineering); I got hired super fast; I had a horrible bootcamp (not very accessible for me); I got laid off from my first job; and then I came into a new job which was even better for me but for the past five months I have really struggled until I started running, again, last week. The past week has brought with it a lot of challenges and changes that I spent five months building and learning.

I learned to plough on ahead and just get on with things. I learned to take responsibility for my work and to write my own tickets. I learned the repository, the codebase, that I work on really really well, and now I feel as if I know it inside out. It’s a very small niche one at the company where I work at. I’m going to be working on another niche one soon. I’m very very excited for this.

I learned to take stock of all my activities and make to do lists. 

Right now I have three things on my mind; I have addressed the comments on a PR in review but there could still be more; I am on a current ticket and about to raise a PR but I need to fix mypy and pytest; and I have a new ticket coming up; I need to both
  • Write the ticket
  • And execute it
So it takes being smart but also extremely good organisational skills to switch context like that. Thank you. So it has been really hard sometimes but in the last week I finally began to perform as I needed to perform as a level 1 Python engineer in an AI/ML team.

Long may it continue like this

A background of blue mountains. A girl sips a bubble tea in a cartoon with a coat and hat. Loads of fairy lights of various colours and kinds and glitter. Text reads: overcoming all of my challenges.

Btw I have stopped working on evenings and on weekends. My team have been absolutely fricking amazing and supportive at supporting me with this and at helping me to enforce this.

I just want to finish off by saying

It’s been a tough few weeks but I think that I’ve got this. I’m gonna make some amazing new posters on my wall with stickers reminding me of my three or four main goals right now. And I am gonna start a new reflective journal themed around these four goals as well. And ask myself every day: am I meeting them? I love myself. I am beautiful and perfect. Just as I am. 

Just how I am. Exactly how I am. Just the way that I am. Thank you. And with love, Susanna xxx ❤️

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