Fan the Flame Inside of Me

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Fan the Flame Inside of Me

I love software engineering. And it feels so good to be doing it again. 

“But what do you mean Susanna. You’ve always been doing software engineering.” Hm. Not sure. When I do my git course I feel like I’m doing software engineering. When I do my errors and debugging course I feel like I’m doing software engineering. So at work… up until recently I haven’t felt like I was doing software engineering at times. 

My job is amazing. I definitely have a software engineering role. But I didn’t quite get how to apply my tools and skills to the actual real world problems. And so I was floundering. And that is not fun. That is not software engineering. Software engineering is using your tools and skills to solve things. And it’s like… I have a git problem, what are my git tools? I have a coding problem, what are my problem solving tools? But I love software engineering. I love software engineering more than anything. I love software engineering more than anything else in the world and this is where I belong. And so here I am. 

At 10 pm in a pizzeria starting a git course because I was told to. No biggie. I danced. Dancing clears my head. I need to dance every day. Eating fruit gives me energy. I need to eat fruit every day. When my head is clear I can learn more and I felt like learning some git when I waited for my pizza (and btw no one needs pizza that late but it was fun). In all my beauty. In all my glory. In all my imperfection.

Yes, I have learned how to ask a structured question. Yes, I have learned how to problem solve. Yes I do deserve to be here. Yes I am giving it back to water tech. 

Yes I am a very talented software engineer. It can take me ages to add up the pieces but if they click boy do they click. And yes I want to give it back to water tech 

Because my talent is meaningless to me

If I do not give it back to what I love

Susanna in a pizzeria with her hood up

Thank you

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