My Middle Name Is Unstoppable

My name is Susanna. And sometimes I get things wrong. Sometimes I don’t get the right end of a situation and the I end up acting on it and then regretting - regretting it so much - regretting it so, so, so much.

Sometimes I make mistakes. Like when I don’t realise for 9 months that a lack of a clear start to my day is holding me back. I am kicking myself. Oh god I am kicking myself so so much. But then I take action. 

I build a workflow on the teams channel where I can post my standup updates and anyone else can join me if they want. I decide on the time I want to start at. In an ideal world I would have a mini standup with myself at 8.45 and start working at 9. I know what I want. How do I implement it? I have to go to bed earlier. I have to have fewer side quests. I have to dance more - dancing keeps me sane and it makes me a nicer kinder person. I have become softer recently. Could it be the dance. I have to see if screaming my notes into AI for the day hopes me to process my stuff for the day by saying it out loud. But I do know this.

My name is Susanna and I get things wrong. I get things very very wrong. I didn’t understand how to approach a software engineering role in the first six or so months and now I am trying to rectify it. I didn’t understand how to approach one ticket at a time and stick to that. I didn’t understand how to create my own standup. I didn’t understand how to problem solve.

I missed out on 1000 smiles of people in the worlds nicest kindest office in Brighton because I was so stressed about my job. I shut myself out to people who were so full of love and support and acted like I was too busy to speak to them but really I just missed out their love and their kindness.

I say stupid things. But. My name is Susanna and when I make mistakes I try and rectify them

After so long of shutting out support I open myself up to support and I open my heart up to support and I take it in again

My name is Susanna, and my middle name is Unstoppable