Thinking About All Of The People Who Supported Me Today

I wanted to do something different today. I firstly want to address my spirituality - I was raised in a Christian household for the first seven years of my life - and when my parents split up that sort of went away. I got seriously ill at 13 and it could’ve been the end for me - I’ve never shared that before - and after that I began to explore my spirituality a lot more. I read books and more books. 

I discovered Buddhism at 14, and then later life events which are the stuff I really avoid talking about sort of took me away from everything. I explored paganism at 21, Wicca, earth based religions, and then found Taoism at 23 when my seizures peaked (edit: re-found Taoism; I had grown up in many ways in a Taoist household. Taoism was and is and will remain probably always my softest softest soft spot forever xxx). Then came back into Buddhism through a therapist I had (as I said I have been through stuff I avoid talking about) and then sort of happily continued at my own rate loving Taoism, loving bits of Buddhism, loving nature and loving the earth and loving the woods. 

I never expected this but I discovered nonduality at 28. That was like the plot twist and I was never expecting. And now I love it all. Christianity, Buddhism, Taoism - they all point to the same truth.

All religions point to the same truth. 

Absolute pure love and perfection.

Oneness and unity. A love that nothing can take away from. 

Eternity now. Presence.

Dance is a huge form of spirituality for me. When I dance there is no dancer, only the dance. That is how I know that I am really dancing.

Why all of this

So all of this just to say that what I am doing feels like a Christian prayer. It also feels like the Buddhist practices of gratitude and appreciation I had to learn when it felt like my whole life was falling apart. But most of all I am doing it to make myself feel better. So. This evening I feel lonely. I feel scared. I feel there is a lack of support. And then I realised that I have never been more supported. All of the people who have helped me today in Brighton. So let me start…

The office manager who let me tell her about my new routine

The friend who I had lunch with who let me tell him about my new routine who guided me and who reassured me

The friend I talked to after lunch who let me tell him my whole story and just listened

The other friend who sat nearby and listened too

The teammate who offered to review all my PRs while our colleague is away

The other teammate who wanted to forewarn me about a sudden change in plans

The colleague who answered my question about logging when the ask on the ticket was somehow vague

The friend and mentor I have on LinkedIn who I can message about anything

The performance coach who I am seeing this week who I quickly dropped a message

The data friend who I grabbed a coffee with and we chatted about passion and life purpose and drive

Now tell me please who do you know who is more supported than me? The girl at 5.20 pm who told me that I was always welcome to come and chat with her team

The friend who said hello to me

All the people who asked me how I am

God what a beautiful office we work in. What a lovely office.

The other office assistant who engaged in a lot conversation about my logging issues

The nice new friend I met today who let me talk to her about AI