You Were There With Me

This blog post is a letter of thanks. To someone who I have never met and will never meet. This blog post is a thanks to the spirit of Alan Turing.

We have never met, but I feel I know you so closely. From the first time my ex-boyfriend mentioned me to you to the way I would cry when I heard your story. From the colleague and the random American lady on the tube who told me to go to Bletchley Park. To the way I cried at your statue and when I read your story again.

I visited Bletchley Park on two subsequent days in December 2023, travelling for 7 hours total on each day and breaking my bank to get there.

Worth it. For all of 2024 I felt you were with me. There when I lost my job. There when people told me that it would be impossible to find another job at my stage as a software engineer and let alone in renewable energy. You were there when I worked 12 hours a day for 6 weeks to get my current job. There when I learned Python, along with Margaret Elaine Hamilton, my other hero. There when I learned Django. You were there in Summer 2024 when I wrote a song about you. And you were there when I went to visit you again in Bletchley for my 30th Birthday. You were there when the waiter in the restaurant I was eating that night came over and told me with no context that I had to keep on going in my job - that it would be tough but that I would have to keep on going - and that then it would get easy for me.

You were there

You were there for me when people told me my new company was not a good fit for me.

You were there for me when I was told time and time again that I would not be likely to pass my probation

You were there for me in the autistic challenges I faced in this job and still continue to face every day but you were there for me when I was told that we would bring in a performance coach and that this might go a long way to resolving some of my professional challenges

You were there for me when I worked for all of 2024, 12 hours a day, with no weekends, trying to pass my probation

You were there for me when my skills and talents were misunderstood, almost up until it was too late and when my talents and passions finally began to shine

I knew you had held my hand all of the way to get here

Sometimes when I am down I still feel you next to me

Reminding me that anyone, anyone can succeed in tech - and that we are all invited here.

Sometimes, you are the only thing that keeps me going

Books

A favourite childhood quote of mine is from the Sleepover Club and it says you can learn more in 6 weeks of putting on a play than in 6 months of books and learning. I have written almost seven hundred blog posts on everything from AI to water, Python to Cypress, Cybersecurity to CSS.

I hope this is the type of blog post where I learn the most. I hope this is the type of blog post that keeps me going. Whenever my talents are assumed to be lesser because I get overwhelmed or the work system discriminates against me 

Whenever I can't express myself verbally in the moment. You are there.

You are holding my hand. You are with me. Thank you