Perhaps Love

One of my best childhood memories is Perhaps Love by John Denver and Placido Domingo. My mum playing it on the guitar, all of us singing it together, playing it on the CD player. Maybe it was even vinyl at first. I don’t know many other artists who get God like John Denver does. 

If you want to find God all you have to do is listen to John Denver. I have been ill with the flu all day. I have been asleep all day. Being ill makes me really sad. It gets me really down.

I missed out on so many things today. A team lunch with the new joiners, seeing my old boss back from paternity leave. Dinner after work with a friend in London.

I also got assigned loads of work and suddenly feel overwhelmed. I find it hard in my job how work doesn’t come for ages and then suddenly it comes all at once. But it’s because teammates need to know when a project is free so they can allocate the right work to the right people at the right time. I want to do some more research on water tech - like desperately. But I am struggling to find the time to do it. When I’m not working I’m dancing and when I’m not dancing I’m working. Except when I’m ill - now I’m just meditating and mostly falling asleep as I meditate. 

I find it really hard to switch off but meditating just makes me conk out. Sad because I don’t get the most out of the meditation but at least it lets me sleep. The golden rule of meditation is that if it makes you sleep you needed the sleep. It seems I often need the sleep. I don’t know what to do.

I have so much going on.

I have four tickets at work. I want to get back to and organise my water research.

I started a new art project. I’m wondering if I can combine my art project and my water research.

I have so much on.

I have a dance workshop on Sunday I’m hoping to recover in time for. I have a mental health first aid workshop on Thursday and Friday and I’m staying overnight in London.

I want to write some more of my dance blog. I’m adapting to a new way of eating (of course) and it is promising but I need to iron out some mistakes. I want to dance more but I have to be feeling better. I have my art project. I have my four tickets at work. I have lots of holiday booked this year. I have two family reunions coming up this year. I have a flight booked to Poland and it will be my first time in seven years I have gone. I also plan to see my mum.

I can’t wait to see her. I need to tidy up the kitchen right now. I want to read and or write about water. But perhaps most of all I need to mediate (or sleep). Perhaps I will be able to work tomorrow perhaps not. I had been planning to. Most of all I just want to be the great oneness that we all are.

“My dream is to be the whole of you.” I once wrote in a song. Thank you