A letter to myself 10 years ago, when I was dropping out of uni

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A letter to myself 10 years ago, when I was dropping out of uni

I know you don’t like formal beginnings so I won’t begin this formally. I know you don’t like corniness or cheesiness so this will not be corny or cheesy. I know you deserved so much better than this. I know you put in absolutely everything you could and I know that you did not deserve this outcome. But know this. 
That which we deserve, finds those who deserve it. And I know you put in everything. I know your resilient spirit will not go away. And something bigger is coming. You know you will come back and get one, two and three degrees 

But it’s really not about that. It’s about your ability to move when it’s time to move even when that involves being uncomfortable. It’s about your ability to stand up for what is good and what is right. To believe in yourself when few are believing in you. To keep on going when other people are saying no. Through three degrees and countless jobs you will keep on going when people say something is not right for you. You will keep on going when you know what is right in your heart. Through waking up on a thousand floors (that still hasn’t gone away by the way - sorry - in fact it’s going to get so much worse before it gets better. But all I can say is this - you are a Sleeping Beauty) to fighting your case a thousand times when you have better things to do (but at least it taught you how to fight) - you will be okay. You will get there. Because

Ten years down the line you will go to Lancing to your friend’s house - don’t worry, it’s just some place in the UK by the sea - and you will sit and tell the story of your life. And you will

Talk about the people you helped to recover from similar traumas to yours
Talk about your life path 
Your spiritual journey

Talk about how you reframed your mindset to see your life and your self as a beautiful gift. And you will be told that you have hit the jackpot because you have work that you love to do - and what could possibly be better than that? And you will get the bus to Worthing and eat a pizza and ask the waiter if he’s ever thought about becoming a software engineer

And then later you will realise that every twist and turn in the path, every trauma aka disguised gift, every seeming failure

Is perfect

Because

You will get your happy ending

Because 

This ends happily

This ends happily

This ends fucking happily okay

This ends happily

Thank you

A poster of pink neon text saying do what you love framed in black against a yellow wall



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