When you can’t fall any lower, the floor will catch you

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When you can’t fall any lower, the floor will catch you

If there’s one thing I have learned from my beautiful and precious and unique lifetime it is the above. I can confidently say very few people have shared my life experiences. How privileged and lucky I am to be me. So unique. Unique story, unique life. Unique mind. I hope it only gets better from here. Recovering from the stuff that I have gone through in my life, I can confidently say that there were times when I thought I couldn’t go any lower. And that’s why I am ultimately very grateful to have had a seizure disorder 

Because it taught me one thing. When you think you can’t get lower, when you think you can’t mess up any more than you already have (been there one thousand times), when you think you can’t get any worse. You realise the floor will always catch you. I feel emotions in my body way more than most people do. This is why I am a dancer. And what a dancer I am too. I am such an embodied dancer. I love it, and I know it. My collapses over 15 years represented a metaphor

A metaphor for not being able to get over what I had been through. Because at 15 I thought my whole life was over and then at 17 I felt it once again, thought it once again

And the floor is the perfect metaphor for the fact that when you think it’s all over, something will hold you. Somebody will catch you. Kind of like god in a way. Expect that it’s not kind of like god, it’s exactly like god. Oh my goodness

A picture of a plaque from a church saying god is love
Steyning Church

The floor is a metaphor for the fact that when we think the whole world is on our shoulders it’s not. When we think that there is no one bigger and stronger than us out there we are wrong. As Taylor Swift said, “always a bigger bed to crawl into.” Whether that comes across as someone coming in to save our lives. Or whether we realise that it is all always God who comes in to save us anyway - the floor will catch you 

The floor has caught me some 4,000 times

So grateful to be alive and feeling so lucky to have been supported so many times by the floor. And to have hugged so many trees today. “Wasn’t it easier in your firefly catching days, always a bigger bed to crawl into, wasn’t it beautiful when you believed in everything, and everybody believed in you.” I still believe in everything. And everybody still believes 

In me. Thank you

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