A Healing Journey

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A Healing Journey

I’m going to say it: the dramas of the last 18 months gave me a lot of time to stop thinking about other stuff. The whole of the software engineering adventure. It gave me a chance to be free. It gave me a chance to be someone else. It gave me a chance to be someone new. Because if you knew me before you’d know I was the last person of earth who was likely to be a software engineer. And I still dance around in amazement. And yet I really really love my job. It’s long and it’s tiring but I really love my job. Who knew my happy job could look like this? And now that work is going well - it’s challenging but it’s going well, it’s strict but it’s going well (it needs to be strict while I grow into a fully fledged frontend and react developer). I have to come back to planet earth

It’s really difficult because as a nonduality person 

As a Buddhist and all of these things. I don’t want to identify as someone who has had (really severe) trauma. I would rather just move on with my life right. And maybe that’s it. I always just wanted to move on with my life. But I never had the choice to do that. I had to heal. Some traumas are just so severe. Healing is a 15 year old journey I never chose to go on. But would I undo it? Of course not. And change the person I have become today? And change my willingness and openness and the ability I have to open up to people and to hold them in my heart and to connect with them? No way. All of the places I have connected with while I was trying to heal. And yet I am ready to be at the end of the journey. I am starting work with some really great people in Brighton. I am lucky to have so much choice down here. I’m ready to begin this journey one more time

Hopefully it is the last time

A simple country path


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