“Anahata: Mantras for an Open Heart”

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“Anahata: Mantras for an Open Heart”

Now listen to me: nothing is more important than a heart wide open.

If I could wish for one thing in this lifetime, it would be to live with a heart wide open.

It would be to live out my life in closeness with God. It would be to live out my life in closeness with my Self. That is one and the same thing anyway. To live out my life in closeness with God. To live out my life in closeness with my Self. To live out my life with my heart wide open

But that is all that matters anyway. I learned this when I was 23 and semi conscious on the floor. Someone’s mum found me and she just stroked my hair. After a year of glaring seizures (they were the worst they ever were that year) and of people questioning me and pressuring me and rushing me and doing things to make it feel like it was my fault (although that was a great year and so many people supported me so it is hard to complain in spite of how bad it was). And I had made all these plans about how I was going to force a recovery somehow

It was then that I realised that all of my plans were stupid. And that my one and only goal in life was to be living with an open heart. Because then I could be there for someone like that woman 

Had been there for me. In my darkest hour of need, in my darkest time of need. She was there for me. She was caressing my hair

She was just there for me caressing my hair

She reminded me I was worth taking care of. I was worth looking after. I was worth protecting 

I was worth looking after

None of this was my fault
None of this ever had been

None of it ever will be. Thank you

Because the thing about recovery is that when you get there. You realise it doesn’t really matter. You realise that none of this was about seizures or not having seizures or people getting annoyed about me having seizures 

Or universities threatening to kick me out for having too many seizures (so many times). It was about opening your heart to love and realising that all we have is love. And realising that we are all already love. Cos that is all that really matters. Oh my God

Two horsies together, a white one and a brown one

Mantras

I am a singer. And I love to sing. As a singer, I love to sing. As a singer I love love love to sing. As I become more rooted in my true self. I only want to sing mantras. I only really want to sing songs that are a celebration 

Of God. I only really want to praise God. How could I do anything. How could I do anything else. 

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