Confidence, Again

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Confidence

Yesterday I built out some stuff in React. And I got very happy and excited when it worked. My mentor said to me:  “why are you so surprised to see your components there. You’ve built some React and it’s working. It’s normal.” That’s when I realised how bad my self confidence was as a software engineer. I’m not talking about my self confidence on the dance floor - that is about 23 trillion. I’m not talking about my self confidence to stand up and talk in a room full of people - that is about 10 thousand too.

No I’m talking about my self confidence as a software engineer. Because that is zero. Let’s be real 

I’ve written almost 1000 posts on this blog. I’ve worked across teams. I’ve built out AI features. I’ve changed UIs that thousands of people will use. I’ve done more interactive rebases than I will ever count. I’ve approved code across repos. I’ve posted on software engineering LinkedIn 22 million times

And yes. I know what really matters. Taking on tickets. Delivering them. Shipping code into production. Delivering value. Asking questions as well

Confidence, Again

But the thing is I am better than I think I am 

And that is an actual fact. I often think that I am totally stuck or that I know nothing. Only to realise that I have done loads. So much more than I think I have. Or to ask for help only to realise that I am so much closer than I think I am. I am much better at understanding code than I realise. So how do I build more confidence? That is the question that I am going to be trying to answer over the next week or so. So I might ask my calls next week what they think. I am lucky to speak to about 5 or 6 seniors a week at least regularly. So I will ask all of these legends 

But I will also ask myself and reflect about it, probably on here
A red flower outdoors


Thank you 

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