I Wanna Know What Love Is

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I Wanna Know What Love Is

A life-changing adventure 

I came back from my travels overrun by every emotion in the world. I have never felt so many emotions in my life before all at once and that is saying something. From the way it felt to go back to Fletcher Moss park to let it heal me. Shortly after I wrote my blog post in fletcher moss park I got really unwell and I found myself on the floor of a gp surgery, recovering. At least there was a gp surgery there I suppose. To how I went up to the Lake District on the same day. Pretty crazy, huh.

There were two men working at the youth hostel at the bus stop at the middle of nowhere with me. They helped me with my case and they took me to the hostel. Life savers. The way it felt to see those beautiful green hills. I mean I just hadn’t expected to see anything so beautiful. I mean wow. Oh my God. I was enveloped in those beautiful green hills immediately. I was held by them and healed by them.

Dancing

I felt love immediately. I loved my hostel immediately. It was peaceful and it was quiet. It was wooden like a chalet. On my first day before dancing I went for a nice hike. I fell in love with the hills and the buildings. I feel like I still am there now. I feel so much love. I feel so much emotion. I am so overrun with grief for not being there anymore. It is almost impossible to bear. I danced so much.

I danced a five day dance workshop. I dance all the elements. I met people and I didn’t fit in. I realised how lucky I am to dance in Brighton. My dance style is wild and unique and unapologetic and I realise the Brighton dance scene holds me really well. I danced into such deep emotions. I realised the greatest pain behind my life’s greatest traumas. My inability to communicate it all, my inability to express it. As a neurodivergent person, communication is always going to be harder for me. If something bad happens to me, it is going to take me years to communicate it to the world. It has done and it always has and it still is. The dance workshop brought with it some crazy healing things. After the dance workshop I went alone and immersed myself in the Derwent river - I would not do that again, I was alone, I was a naughty girl - but it was so worth it at the time and so so special and so magical for me, but never again, thank you

Then came Leeds. Leeds shattered my heart as always. Went to an amazing Japanese for dinner on the first night, see above. Then went to the amazing horse sanctuary and loved it there so so much. Then went to the cinema and then went shopping for a dress for my friends wedding. Then this morning I went for brunch and to an abbey. It sounds like nothing much

It was everything

It was everything

It was everything 

Thank you 

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