The Compassion That Only I Can Give To Myself

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The Compassion That Only I Can Give To Myself

I’m here in my favourite park in Manchester. Fletcher Moss Park. I came here once and begged for healing when I was 25 years old. But more importantly my mum once brought me here for treatment to a private clinic when I was seriously ill at 13. And I never knew the link between the times. I’ve been coming back here ever since. I came here once for my 27 birthday. I came here when I got fired. I came here when I got my new job. And I’m here now. And finally the healing that I begged for is here. It is within reach. 

I can feel the compassion that I always needed. I searched and searched for compassion in other people. But I was the one who really needed to give it to myself. Because only I know what I went through.

Only I was there. And so now I give it to myself freely. This compassion.

I can give it to myself freely. I have to run.

I have lots of trees to hug.

Because feeling pain and feeling grief is hard. Opening my heart is harder. But you know what’s harder? Being dead inside. I never want to feel dead inside again

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