The Dream and the Broken Fantasy, At The Natural History Museum

Earlier this year I went to the natural history museum in London. I’d stayed overnight in London; I think I was singing and chanting at Kirthan the night before. I then went to an ecstatic dance class - not my thing, which surprised everyone. The dancing I do, 5 rhythms, though freestyle, has much more structure. That’s me then. 

Freedom and structure. I need a bit of both. 

I’m currently reading this book by Jacqueline Wilson and I’m crying my eyes out. Picture Imperfect. That woman just gets better and better. After ecstatic dance I made a new friend who mysteriously was travelling to the area right by the museum.

We got the bus and then she paid for uber across London when the bus was too slow. It was nuts. I felt like a millionaire. Then I went to the museum.

I don’t remember much. Like most of the museum trips I spent the whole time trying not to pass out. Museums always make me seize/collapse/whatever. I almost never go on my own. 

But I felt brave and so I did it. I really struggled. I was hanging by a thread. I don’t think I made it all the way home without collapsing - I don’t know if there was something on the train back - but I think I did pretty well. Maybe I was okay. I was on an extreme budget. I was just eating dates and drinking water before eating out that night. I should’ve just gotten a coffee though. God, I have some really beautiful and magical memories of London. I spent a lot of time at the Polish cultural centre there. Seeing a Polish spiritual teacher. He was great. My dad also loves eating there so we go there a lot sometimes. When we’re in London anyway. Another place I love is the westfields Stratford whatever. I once passed out in a computer shop. The Australian paramedics took me outside. It was March 2023 and in a day or two I was starting my first software job. I got them to write a special message on my advice slip. And so they wrote:

“Enjoy becoming a software engineer

And balance will be resorted” 

My favourite museum in Manchester 

I once went to the natural history museum with my ex boyfriend about ten or so years before 

We bumped into my English teachers from high school and my teacher told me about all her tarot decks. Sometimes things just aren’t meant to work out and sometimes were meant to drink water and eat dates in the cafe of the natural history museum in London 

And sometimes we’re meant to dance in the hall of eternity. I choose to remain in the hall of eternity

Anyway thanks