“But I am an ENGINEER!”

When I first became an engineer I went for a team day in London a couple of weeks in. This was very very exciting for me. It was at my old company. It was my first time coming to London as an engineer. I told everybody on the train. I had a great day and I wore an outfit I felt amazing in.

I met a lot of colleagues. We went to a loud and noisy crowded cocktail bar with lots of people in it. And there with 100 colleagues, mostly male, with some of them really looking out for me and one of them holding my bag and etc. Some random dude who was there with his friends decided to hit on me. And I don’t remember anything 

I don’t remember what I did. I don’t remember what I said. I just know that I flicked my hair and somehow shut down the situation

I have no idea what I said. I have no idea what I did. But I do know what I thought “I am an ENGINEER!” 

And it gave me the confidence and empowered me to say no. And if you don’t know how that feels. You might not be a neurodivergent autistic woman who is also a survivor of extreme trauma. Because it took being in that kind of a situation 

To feel like I could shut it down with the authority that I always should do. And that is just the beginning of what software engineering has done for me. And to anyone in the world who may ever try to push me out as people have done

“Tread softly. You tread on my dreams.”

Ooh and p.s. what happened after the party? I left with the principal engineer. It turned out we took the same train. 

I asked him for two hours about everything I could possibly do in the world about software engineering. And he - even after a few drinks - obliged. So as Taylor Swift once said: “So try and come for my job!”.

P.s. 2 special shout out to the moment when I said to him “SO WHAT IS SOFTWARE ARCHITECTURE?”