Missing Home Like My Heart Will Break

-

Missing Home Like My Heart Will Break

I come from the forest deep in Luxembourg. I can take you in the woods to the land where the fairies live. Come. You only need to follow me. I can take you to where the light filters through the giant green trees and where purple flowers seem to grow even in the winter all year round

I can take you to where the trees will make all of your wishes come true. I can take you to the Triple Goddess Tree. I can take you to the willow deep within the forest. I can take you to where the deer will climb cliffs vertically just for you. I can take you to secret lakes in the woods. I can show you the witches hut that I found once 

I can take you to where the tree stabbed me in the ear and imbued me with all of its magic. Nearby there is the field that is made purely of love and I can see it from my bedroom window

Oh but don’t you know

This whole entire universe is made of nothing but love. My heart is beating and pounding in my chest right now because it is made of pure love. The sound emanating from my phone “Om Mata Kali” by Shantala is just pure love. The sound waves are made from all love

The sleep wear I’m wearing is all just made of pure love

I am draped in a duvet of pure love. My warm blanket is one of pure love as well. The oxygen in my room and the air that I breathe are all made out of pure love

And light and compassion

The very air that I breathe is love and it infuses my heart and soul with love too

I cannot think a bad thought because all of my thoughts are just made of pure love

These very fingers that type on my phone and the fly that just landed on my face and these golden curls that cascade around my face whether or not there is anyone here to see them - it is all just love love love 
An internet tower deep within the woods

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hello World

-
Image
 Hello from Susanna Codes! Hi everyone,  My name is Susanna and I'm a 28-year-old aspiring software engineer from Brighton! As I type this, listening to music from "Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amelie Poulain" (it reminds me of home, in Luxembourg, where I am from - I'm missing home quite a lot lately!) and look forward to some Irish Cream tea in my afternoon break, I am thinking: How lucky I am that my amazing colleague Rosana helped me out with a plan for my software engineer journey (she directed me to the front-end first). How HTML and CSS would not have been my first languages of choice had I not been guided in this direction, as in my head they were seen as 'less-serious' langages. How done I am with what other people think of me and if other people see the 'front-end' as softer then so be it! Everyone has to start somewhere. I am so grateful to be on this journey, with Codecademy's Front-End Engineer Career Path.  Thank you to Async Brighton as ...
Read more

“But yesterday, I heard God say, you were born to be the one…”

-
Image
“But yesterday, I heard God say, you were born to be the one…” Hey there. Still off work. Still tired. Lana del Rey released a new song. Thank God. My soul needed it so much.  I’m thinking a lot about everything. Thinking about where I went wrong. I just want to release. I want to release all the crap that is in my room. I’ve been trying to fully declutter since I was 21. I give away so much. I donate so much. But then I never quite finish. I never get to the click. And then I buy more. I don’t know what technique to use. There are so many techniques. The Marie Kondo method. I like to do kinaesthetic tests too. I like to pretend I’m packing up during the pandemic again and I have to make really quick decisions about what to keep and what to leave behind. That was no fun. But it was efficient. I just can’t release it. There’s so much stuff I can’t let go of. I don’t know how to. I don’t know how to. I suppose that’s a good metaphor for life. We accumulate stuff and we hold on to it....
Read more

In the Water, I find Fire

-
Image
In the Water, I find Fire Who am I without renewable energy? I had to ask myself this question last year when my company laid off half its employees.  I didn’t know who I was anymore. Not without renewable energy. But I did everything I could to stay in it. The time in between jobs allowed me to experiment. Travel around the UK a bit. Reconnect with old hobbies. Rediscover my femininity a bit - be someone who wasn’t always working. But I fought to stay in renewable energy. A part of myself has been telling myself that I am in renewable energy still and that’s great because I am. But I am mostly in water. And that was hard for me to accept that. Because I love renewable energy so so much. And I couldn’t imagine my life without it. But now I can. Not because I don’t love it But because I need to give myself to something more too and that is water Because in the water I find my passion In the water, I find my fire In the water, I find my self again In the water, I find my Self So let’...
Read more