What Dancing Intensely For A Year Has Given Me

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What Dancing Intensely For A Year Has Given Me

(And I never ever plan to stop)

A year ago this would have seemed impossible. But for the last year I have consistently done 2 2-hour dance classes a week. And I have done several workshops.
This is a better and more beautiful perfect life than I ever could have dreamed of. I’m so glad I’m not married or travelling the world or a director or Taylor Swift. All the things I might have wanted. I am so glad to be Susanna because I can be me. 
And I can dance. I am so glad about everything that has happened in my life because it led me to here. Where I can dance. Nothing makes me happier than to dance (well expect maybe singing). 

Nothing makes me happier than to move. It is truly only the grace of god that means I can dance. For five years after I first discovered my current dance style my seizures were so bad I couldn’t do it. And when they subsided enough last November for me to dance 

I thought
  • I’m only going to be able to dance sitting down
  • I’m only going to be able to dance lying down
And I was ready for that. But none of these things happened. Instead I was flying around leaping and bounding from day one. And look 

After one year
  • My muscles are incredible, my legs are more muscular than when I lived on a steep hill for all of my life and that is saying something
  • My arms are super strong too (and my core?) and I can lift and carry things like I never could before
  • My flexibility is through the roof, more obvious things like bending, crouching, squatting but also more subtle things like my arms and shoulders releasing
  • My fitness and stamina are so good I can dance intensely for two hours and still be ready to do loads more
  • I can listen to my body and flow with my energy
  • I can go outside and walk a lot more this is crazy for someone after fifteen years of seizures (I could always hike in the woods but I couldn’t walk in any busy environments they were just too stimulating. Now I can handle busy and unfamiliar environments and I can be okay).
  • I can feel my emotions. For years I was blocking them. 
  • Yes it hurts
  • Yes I cry sometimes
  • But I can feel them
  • And bring it on
I’m committing to going up to three classes a week. I might have to sacrifice money, free time, meal prep and important stuff on one extra evening, spend money on eating out before that class sometimes

Bring it on

I will budget for it

It is all worth it

It is all worth it

Thank you 
A photo of some oracle cards and a tree

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