Thunder Perfect Mind - „You who are waiting for me, take me to yourselves”

-

Thunder Perfect Mind - „You who are waiting for me, take me to yourselves”

There comes a moment in every woman’s life „when she must cry ‚freedom’” - Denise Linn said that. I read that when I was 13. I was only a little girl

How could I understand? But I understand that now

Me at 12 with my ripped and studded shorts and my bright green hat with a Metallica patch sewn on. With a Kurt cobain style open checked shirt at all times
With my nirvana and led zeppelin T-shirts
With my orange and black striped tights
And best of all my orange spray painted fake doc martins that I picked up in Warsaw
There will never be a cooler pre-teen than me 

But then I had to grow up even faster than I already had done before. After anorexia I had a big awakening. I woke up to the feminine. The divine. The feminine that I would try and shut down again and again

But it has come back to me

The moon is mysterious

And so is my life

It’s time to heal. I will heal through my feeding your demons practice. I will heal through my dance practice

And most of all I will heal through my thunder perfect mind my favourite poem omg. I have paid a lot of people a lot of money to heal me

And so has my family when I was younger 

But only I can heal myself now
A beautiful bauble that says coding queen

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hello World

-
Image
 Hello from Susanna Codes! Hi everyone,  My name is Susanna and I'm a 28-year-old aspiring software engineer from Brighton! As I type this, listening to music from "Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amelie Poulain" (it reminds me of home, in Luxembourg, where I am from - I'm missing home quite a lot lately!) and look forward to some Irish Cream tea in my afternoon break, I am thinking: How lucky I am that my amazing colleague Rosana helped me out with a plan for my software engineer journey (she directed me to the front-end first). How HTML and CSS would not have been my first languages of choice had I not been guided in this direction, as in my head they were seen as 'less-serious' langages. How done I am with what other people think of me and if other people see the 'front-end' as softer then so be it! Everyone has to start somewhere. I am so grateful to be on this journey, with Codecademy's Front-End Engineer Career Path.  Thank you to Async Brighton as ...
Read more

“But yesterday, I heard God say, you were born to be the one…”

-
Image
“But yesterday, I heard God say, you were born to be the one…” Hey there. Still off work. Still tired. Lana del Rey released a new song. Thank God. My soul needed it so much.  I’m thinking a lot about everything. Thinking about where I went wrong. I just want to release. I want to release all the crap that is in my room. I’ve been trying to fully declutter since I was 21. I give away so much. I donate so much. But then I never quite finish. I never get to the click. And then I buy more. I don’t know what technique to use. There are so many techniques. The Marie Kondo method. I like to do kinaesthetic tests too. I like to pretend I’m packing up during the pandemic again and I have to make really quick decisions about what to keep and what to leave behind. That was no fun. But it was efficient. I just can’t release it. There’s so much stuff I can’t let go of. I don’t know how to. I don’t know how to. I suppose that’s a good metaphor for life. We accumulate stuff and we hold on to it....
Read more

Yosemite

-
Image
Yosemite I'll never forget the first time I head the song Yosemite by Lana del Rey. I very nearly clicked away.  It was quite near the start of my Software Engineering journey, right near when I start learning the Front-End/Web Development. I was listening to Arcadia by LDR before, maybe twice, and then Blue Banisters came on. I nearly clicked away in the first 30 seconds but I forced myself to keep listening anyway.  I'll never forget how that song has made me feel. It became my song of 2022 even though I only discovered it in November. I can still listen to it every day and get that complete sense of wonder and of awe that I felt the first time that I heard it. That ending of the song is completely amazing, and it just completely just blows me away every time. "Withstanding all the time, changes, and seasons..." - LDR Concise Body Arrow Functions Why am I so bad at arrow functions? Whyyyyyyyyyyy?  Just kidding, I am beginning to get them. But why are they so hard? ...
Read more