when the party’s over, part 2

I’m falling into a habit again of thinking about work outside of work and that’s not good. I had managed to stop for a long time - like not just processing the people and the events but actually thinking about my strategy etc. That’s not good right. But I find as a neurodivergent person

If I really want to grow I have to have periods where I am 

Idk just like really obsessed with my work 

But I don’t want that 

That’s not good

I want to dance

I want to sing

I want to meditate

I want to go out in nature

I am doing that but my brain can’t reconcile all of my new tickets. And my react learning plan.

And the react hook form work that I’m doing. I’m very grateful I have people who believe in me and support me idk. There are one or two things about my current tickets I’m not clear on 

Like how literally to take the designs from the designer - that is probably something I need to have a chat about as a relatively new FE engineer

And I am struggling with how to clone the structures of old git branches. And I don’t know. I am processing stuff. I am just being a woman too. That’s the thing about my career and transitioning into software engineering. I did it with loads of personal stuff going on

And I am still healing from lots of stuff

I want to be like billie eilish - as honest and expressive as she is

Okay bye

So what’s the plan

There is no plan

I have tickets

I have react learning work which I’m not prioritising

My boss and I are going to do some work on prioritisation next week

I’m learning react hook form 

I’m going to sign up for some accessibility work/already have

And that’s all that matters

Plus my weekly coffee catchup with a random team member which I live for

I had signed up for a company wide one but I think I might in-sign up from that one. Cos it’s probably too much

I’m craving blank street coffee drinks. I am so basic

I love Starbucks

I love blank street more

And there is a really cool alternative place in Brighton called higher ground 

My dance schedule is changing in other news

One teacher is cancelling

One teacher is moving her class

It should be good news

Just trying to budget for my crazy number of classes

Okay thanks

Bye

I could lie say I like it like that like it like that

I can’t wait to dance

Okay bye 

Bye

Still here

Thinking about weekly goals

Sometimes I do them at the weekend just to get them out of my head

Then I can sleep in on Monday morning 

But anyway I promised myself I would still go and mediate tonight 

I just can’t get all of these software goals out of my mind